


sucker for pain

by TielCas987, Zandriel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abused Dean Winchester, Abusive John Winchester, Additional Warnings Apply, Blood Kink, Blood and Gore, Bottom Dean, Crazy!Castiel, Crazy!Dean, Dark!Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Doctor!Dean, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Manipulation, Hurt Dean Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Manipulation, Manipulative Behaviour, Minor Character Death, Murder Husbands, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Castiel, Powerful!Castiel, Protective Castiel, Psychological Torture, Rich!Castiel, Serial Killer Castiel, Serial Killer Dean Winchester, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicide Attempt, Top Castiel, asylum AU, dangerous castiel, dangerous dean winchester, harley quinn! dean, joker!castiel, twisted castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-03-07 19:02:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13441248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TielCas987/pseuds/TielCas987, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zandriel/pseuds/Zandriel
Summary: what happens when two utterly broken people find each other?I tell you what happens, either they help each other for the better or succumb to their desires.this is a story of how two people find each other on opposite sides.one's a doctor and the other's an insame criminal flued by desire to see others fall and become nothing, this is a story about manipulation, a story about how two people who seem to have nothing in comon fall for each other, about two boys whose past was full of abuse, torrure, sorrow and pain, a story of how a criminal was able to manipulate a doctor into falling in love with him and how in the end he was the one who fell for the broken man, this is the story of the king and queen of  crime, how two people who grown up in two different families, two different situations and two diferent places whose one comon factor was their terrible lives became the most powerful and dangerous couple in the world.this is a story about sacrifices, pain and love





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> this is a Destiel/joker au where Castiel is portrayed as the joker and dean as Harley Quinn, this is a heavy fic, there is a lot of horrible situations in this story. this involves sexual harassment, violence, murder, torture, self-harm and a lot more, I do not recommend you read it if it triggers you, I'll put a trigger warning before each chapter as a warning.  
> -z
> 
> trigger warning: abuse, self-harm, mentions of suicide attempt, rape, minor character death  
> -z

 

Castiel Novak grew up in what you can call a cradle of gold, his father was a multi-billionaire and a powerful man, Castiel got everything he could ever ask for, except the love and acceptance of his family, a dead mother caused by complications with his birth made his father and his two brothers Michael and Gabriel despise him and make his life a living and personal hell. They beat him senseless every single day and abusing him verbally, one of that days, his brother Michael, sick of him decided to take a knife up to his mouth, disfiguring him for the rest of his life, Castiel was 16 at the time, and his brothers own words still haunt him to this day

“why so serious Castiel”- he had asked in a sickly monotone voice

That was the day Castiel snapped, with his mouth bleeding heavily he had taken the knife from his brother’s grasp and stabbing him 25 times, repeating the painful four words over and over again, that’s how his brother Gabriel later found him, sitting on his knees in a pool of Michael's blood, bloody hand grasping the blade with droplets falling from it, looking at Gabriel's eyes and laughing, a maniacal laugh resonating within the room.

Four years after that fatidical day, Castiel murdered his father and brother in cold blood by decapitating Gabriel and torturing his father, he then took over all his fathers business and made it into his own, changing it completely.

Within three years he had killed almost every single criminal he could, taking down gangs and the mob, he then took control of the whole criminal organizations. He ran in with a tooth fine comb and even expanded it, taking over three-fifths of the world’s crime industry, he did everything from cover-ups to high-end robberies, he did it all until he and a cult of underground criminals were completely running it and the whole Gotham.

His favourite hobby was killing, he never killed only for fun, he had a code, no woman nor children’s, unless of course if said woman wasn’t innocent, if she deserved to die, he would kill her. He may be a psychopath but there was a line even he wouldn’t cross.

Castiel Novak soon became the richest, powerful and fearful man in the entire city of Gotham, possibly even the world.

   


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Dean Winchester grew up in a small house with the floor as his bed, his mother had died when he was four, after she had died his father had made unthinkable things to him, he began to drink about the time Dean was six years old, he started beating him daily and abusing him, he never did anything to his brother Sam, only because Dean had done everything in his power so that would never happen to him. He took the beating with is head held high, never breaking down, showing Sammy he was okay.  


Dean was nine years old when his father started molesting him, it started with simple touches, it was better than the constant beatings, till one day when he came home drunk and raped him in front of his own brother who didn’t understand what was going on, after that day dean made sure sam wouldn’t ever see something like that again, his father continued to molest and beat him all throughout his teenage years, dean was also manipulated so throufully that he became to feel sorry for his father, that it wasn’t his fault dean was being molested, he was just hurting.

By the time Dean got into high school he was severely depressed and had extreme social anxiety, the kids in school would bully him and make fun of him when he would have his episodes and nervous breakdown.

That continued throughout his senior year of highschool, when he was so depressed he began to self-harm, even as far as trying to commit suicide, one day when one of the jocks tried to rape him in the school locker he snapped and ran away from Kansas to gotham, there he met Charlie when he tried to commit himself to arkham asylum, she was a doctor there and she took him in, treated him and helped him heal, when she died four years later in a bank robbery he made a promise to her, he would become a doctor and help others like him.

At 22 he officially became a doctor in Arkham asylum helping others heal, it was three months after that that he was assigned to treat Castiel Novak A.K.A the joker.

   


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This is their story, the story about how the psychotic and damaged serial killer fell in love for the broken doctor, how two very different people with similar pasts learned that sometimes all you need is love.

This is a story about love, but this is not a love story, this is a story about grief, violence, murder and revenge.  


This is a story about emotional manipulation, a story about how insanity is like gravity, all it takes is a little push.

A story about how we live in a world of hypocrites, where people pray for your downfall, about how they laughed at them because they were different, how they laughed at the world because they were all the same.

A story about two crazy people that became the king and queen of crime, how a murderous psychopath fell in love with someone whose craziness matched his, someone who didn’t question his actions nor his craziness, someone who could see the sorrow behind his smile, the love behind his anger, the reason behind his silence.

This is a story about how Castiel Novak became the joker, and how Dean Winchester became Harley Quinn.

A story about how Castiel Novak fell so deeply in love with Dean Winchester that he began to fall in more ways than one, about how the two became the most dangerous and powerful couple In Gotham.

A story about how their craziness matched to a point where they became one, killing, terrorizing, etc.

This is a story about love, how it twists your own soul, how it renders you powerless, this is a story about love, but this isn’t a love story.


	2. the crazy meets the sane

**Castiel’s pov ( inside the courthouse)**

 

The courtroom was empty except for the clerk, bailiff, prosecution attorney, judge and jury, and of course me and Crowley, my lawyer, he said it would be best if it wasn’t a bench trial, that it wouldn’t raise many suspicions, a lot of people were already questioning how I kept getting off, well, that happens a lot when you’re wealthy and scary.

We took our seats and waited for the judge’s arrival.

The bailiff's voice sounded throughout the courtroom -“All rise!” -Everyone stood, scraping chairs on the wooden floor the only sound in the room, then the man continued. -"The Honorable Judge Jody Mills presiding."

A younger woman, mid-thirties at least, entered the courtroom and took her seat at the front of the room. She entered the courtroom and took her seat.

"Please be seated," -the bailiff stated, his voice loud in the silent courtroom.

It was then the clerk that spoke; -"Docket ending in 6285. The case of Castiel Novak. The defendant is charged with Voluntary manslaughter”

The judge cleared her throat, shuffling a paper in front of her.- “I assume your plea is not guilty?” -She said in a clipped voice and turned her attention to me

“Yes ma'am,” i said with a sickening smile and head tilt

She gave a small nod and continued.- “Is the prosecution ready?”

Naomi, the prosecution lawyer stood, nodding his head once in her direction.- “Yes, your Honor.”

“Be seated.”- Naomi took her seat.

The judge turned to Crowley. -“Is the defence ready?”

Crowley stood, tilting his head in her direction.- “Yes, your Honor.”

“Be seated,” -she replied and Crowley took his seat. She looked back towards Naomi. “Prosecution, you may now provide me with your evidence against the accused parties.”

naomi gathered some papers and stood again, pulling her first piece of evidence to the front of her stack. - “Your Honor, I would like to enter into evidence a newspaper clipping of an advertisement placed by the victim, Mr. Martin Davis. It was found in the accused party hotel room. I also have phone records of a two minute phone call that was made to the victim from Castiel Novak's cell phone.”- Naomi handed the papers to the bailiff who walked them over to the judge. 

She looked at them and turned to Crowley.- “Does the defence have any explanation regarding the evidence I have just been presented with?”

Crowley stood and cleared his throat before saying,- “Yes your Honor. I have a title and car registration to a 1978 Lincoln Continental Mark V Castiel Novak's name and the ad found in his hotel room was an advertisement for an engine that would fit said continental. The two-minute phone call placed by Mr Castiel Novak to the victim was to set up a time to meet the following day so he could look over the engine.”- The bailiff came and took the car paperwork and gave it to the judge.

Judge Mills looked over the continental’s title and registration before speaking to Naomi. “Does the prosecution have any more evidence they would like to submit?”

“Yes your Honor; I have a written witness statement and a statement from the Lawrence Police Department stating that a witness picked the accused party out of a lineup.”

The bailiff retrieved the papers and Judge Mills read them over before turning her attention to Crowley. -“Does the defence have anything they would like to add?”

Crowley held up the DVD. -“Yes your Honor, I would like to have the evidence from the witnesses’ statement and the lineup thrown out because it is not credible.”

Naomi huffed,- “Objection!”

“Overruled, continue,”- the judge replied.

“I have a recording of the lineup, and once the witness picks out Mr Novak, he asks if he is free to leave because he has someone waiting on him to take him to the optometrist. He went on to tell the officers as they were getting ready to escort him out, that he had broken his glasses the day before on his way to his sisters and he promptly had to turn around and return home because he is considered legally blind without them and not allowed to drive.”

“So, both the night he saw the killer flee the scene of the crime and when he picked the accused party out of the lineup, not only did he not have his glasses which he stated he is legally blind without, he is also suffering from an cataracts which can cause people to miss objects to the side and out of the corner of their eye. A person’s central vision, or straight-ahead vision, is also significantly decreased.” -The bailiff took the information and the DVD to the judge.

The Judge cleared her throat, holding the papers and case in her hands.- “There will be a twenty-minute recess while the jury will go over the evidence and watch the DVD, and present the verdict.”

It was the most boring twenty minutes of my life, god, I really need a new plaything.

Crowley’s head snapped up when the jury re-entered the room and took their seats. “After reviewing the evidence, we the jury disagree with the defence. The witness is considered credible due to the extenuating circumstances and I am not throwing out both his statement and the lineup. As for the other evidence, the defense has explained the advertisement found in the defendant's room and the phone call but did not explained the reason for such need of a vehicle engine, due to the fact that it’s public knowledge that Mr Novak uses a personal driver and has not driven a car for some time, also due to his expired licence and registration. We’re ready to make our ruling.”

“Would the defendants please rise.”- The judge said

I stood next to Crowley and he took a deep breath before he rose from his seat.- “In the case of Castiel Novak, we the jury find the defendant guilty of involuntary manslaughter and  hereby request he spent two months at Arkham asylum and attend therapy.”- Crowley let out a soft sigh. -“The court officer,”- the judge said,- “will be in to transport you towards Arkham in a few minutes. The court in now adjourned.”- She slammed down her gavel, stood, and walked out the door that led back to her chambers.

The Arkham isn’t bad, especially if I do anything I want while I’m there. Charlie and the guards take care of me and help me out. All I have to do is take a couple of therapy sessions, and I’m separated from the rest of society, so I don’t do anything they consider as bad. I haven't been there in a couple of years, it would be good seeing Charlie again, even for a doctor she had a twisted sense of humour that intrigued me, I know I’m a bit twisted, I’m the king of crime after all.

 

 

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**Dean’s pov (Arkham)**

 

Another day, a couple of pills, another session, that’s my life, my crazy life.

Even though I’m a doctor in one of the dangerous parts of Arkham Asylum, the criminally insane wing, I’m not perfect, hell, sometimes I even think I should be inside one of the cells, not treating the inmates, but what can I say, Charlie did help me a lot, she helped me cope with the night terror, the panic attacks, the social anxiety. I’m only doing this job mostly because of her, she was like me, and she got better, so did i. even if sometimes I get a panic attack here and there, I’ve come a long way since then. I got help, studied and decided to became a doctor, if Charlie was able to help someone as crazy and broken as me, then I can do the same.

Entering charlie’s old office I noticed a thick manilla file, great, a new patient, let's hope this one takes most of my time since I started working here and taking over charlie’s patients I’ve got my hands full.

When I opened the file I noticed that my new patient was no other than Castiel Novak, or as mostly everyone treats him, the joker. Great, another one like me, the one difference being that he embraces his craziness, this one is gonna be hard to treat.

Pulling the file under my arm and walked towards my office, when I entered it I noticed the man. He had raven black hair that looked like he just got out of bed or has been fucked six days to Sunday, no way I can tell, freakish blue eyes, like fucking blue, wasn’t good enough, even for a sociopath he was kind of hot, but the thing that struck out the most was the scars on his mouth, even with them he was hot, too bad he was a criminal.

I cleared my throat and sat down beside my desk and faced him, I came aware that he was staring, so I decided to introduce myself.

“I’m Dean Winchester, I’ll be your doctor during your stay in Arkham.”

“where’s Charlie, she’s supposed to be my doctor”- was the first this he said to me,

This guy may be hot, but he’s fucking rude.

“I’m afraid to inform you that miss Bradbury isn’t able to be your doctor”- I answered trying to convey my emotions

“why the fuck not?, I paid a lot of money to have her to be my doctor specifically, so where the fuck is she”- so very fucking rude indeed

“Mr Novak, due to extreme consequences, miss Bradbury is not able to be your doctor, they have requested me to by your doctor due to the fact that I learn from miss Bradbury and was a close friend of hers”

“I don’t care if you were friends with Charlie or were did you learn, I want to know where she is”

“you want to know where she is? She’s dead okay, Charlie died a year ago, now, I’ll be revising miss Bradbury's notes and see where we can go from there, what do you think Mr Novak?- I spoke as calmly as possible trying not to convey how much I wanted to punch the man, unfortunately I think he may have noticed the anger in my eyes, because the guy just looked at me with a sickening sweet smile and smirked while eyeing me like I was a piece of meat.

“well, dean”-the bastard had the audacity of rolling my name on his tongue, it sounded more like purring-“ I look forward to our sessions, I look forward to seeing you again”- he said smirking

I just hummed and got up from the chair

“if you may, I’ll escort you to your sell Mr Novak”-I said looking him in the eyes, then turned towards the guard and he nodded-“ follow me”

I left the office with Novak trailing behind, we were almost in his cell when my phone began ringing.

“Winchester”- I answered

“Dean, hey, its sam, I was hoping we could meet when you have some free time”-was the answer from the other line.

That’s right, Sam has been trying to spend some time with me since he heard John was sick and wanted me to visit them, I’ve been always blowing him off, simply because I don’t even  want to talk to him much less visit, I didn’t even know where he got my number.

“dean, you there?”- he asked

“Hm, yeah, I’m here”-I rasped

“so, can we meet soon?”- you could even hear the puppy dog look from the other line

“Unfortunately no sam, I’ve been very busy with new patients and my work schedule is overloaded”- I tried not to lie too much, but with Novak's eyes burning holes in my back, it was a little difficult

“Oh come on dean, you sure you cant even have lunch with me, please?”

“no can do sam, anything else?”

“no, just that”- I hummed and ended the call.

“who was that?”-the guard, benny as I came to know him a little, I wouldn’t call a friend, more like a coworker, asked me.

“just sam, he’s been pestering me about visiting them”

“why won't you? You could take some days off and your schedule is pretty much cleared since you only have Novak here as a patient”

“I’d rather not thank you very much”

“you know they’re your family, you should visit them sometimes, they’re the most important things in your life, you should cherish them because BAM, one day they’re gone all you’ll be all alone”-I could hear the sorrow behind his words

“they’re not my family, not anymore at least”

“what do you mean?”

I signed deeply, I had an anxiety attack brooming so I reached for my pocket taking out anxiety pill from the bottle and taking it, I looked him in the eyes

“there’s a reason I left, a reason why I’m here, why I don’t consider them my family, and that, only one person knows, and that person is dead”

“I heard the rumors, but I didn’t speculate, is it true what they say about Charlie, and why you started working here?”-there was kindness in his eyes

“they’re all true, every single one of them”- I answered with my lips pursed

We reached the end of the block and I turned to Novak

“this is your cell, we’ll have an appointment tomorrow at ten am sharp”- I then turned to leave until I heard his gravelly voice

“see you tomorrow doc”-he said before starting to laugh, one of those laughs that ruined a chill down my spine.

While I was leaving I felt his eyes on me during the whole way, my only thought was what the fuck did I got myself into.

 

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**Cas’ pov**

 

Well, my new doctor sure is something, he may not be Charlie, but from the little time I spent with him today I found out some rather interesting things, and let me tell you, those things catched my attention right away, he had this look in his eyes that told me he was no different than me, deep down he’s as crazy as me possibly, the only diference is that he’s yet to embrace it, the way he spoke about his family told me something happened to him, and the way he reached for the pills in his pocket when the guard told him how precious family is tells me it was something really horrible, also the way he looked at the cells possibly wondering if he should be in one tells me that he’s on thin ice, one wrong move and he cracks.

All of that has surely caught my interest in him, he’s perfect in every way possible except the sane part, that I’ll just have to get creative and help him embrace the crazy, then when he’s as crazy as me he can be the Harley Quinn to my joker, my little sidekick.

Well, Dean Winchester, you just become my new plaything, I will break you in every way possible and then shape you as my little perfect Harley, I smirked at my thought and decided to start tomorrow, soon dean Winchester will be mine.


	3. A little push never hurted anyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> castiel's medical fice was loosely based on the Arkham medical files used on the movie suicide squad, I'll be leaving the links to the mental disorder conditions Castiel has at the endnotes  
> -z

**next day (Dean's pov)**  


I shouldn't have accepted Castiel as my patient, I should've transferred him to another doctor. but who will treat a psychopath like him? the only one who is able to help him is me, I never turned down a challenge, and Castiel will be a hell of a challenge. I'll have to be locked inside a small office with him every day for at least four hours. and I still have to deal with the Sam situation. fuck my life.

I had to pull out his file to decide the best treatment to administrate him. so I opened the safe in my office and pulled out his file. after that, I sat down in my chair. starting to read it while I waited for the guards to bring him in and start the first session.

 

 **File Number:** #5728941-509

 **Purpose Code:** R-652891-1(8)

 **SRU ID:** C201

 **Name:** Castiel James Krushnic Novak

 **Aliases:** The Joker

 **Date of Birth:** 2/25/1995

 **Record ID:** N6092C72095

 **Affiliation:** Charles Bartholomew Novak- father- deceased (2015)

Anna Krushnick Novak- mother- deceased (1995)

Michael Alistair Krushnic Novak-brother-deceased (2011)

Gabriel Richard Krushnic Novak-brother-deceased (2015)

 **Nationality:** Russian/American

 **Citizen:** yes

 **Gender:** male

 **Race/Ethnicity:** White/Caucasian

 **Height:** 5' 11''

 **Weight:** 169lb

 **Hair Color:** Raven black

 **Eye Color:** Cerulean blue

 **Age:** 23

**Medical Diagnosis History:**

**antisocial personality disorder** \- 2011 (age 16). due to constant physical and psychologic abuse.

 **schizoid personality disorder** \- 2011 (age 16). due to years of child neglect and child abuse.

 **narcissistic personality disorder** \- 2012 (age 17). due to previous physical abuse and child neglect.

 **intermittent explosive disorder-** 2011 (age 16). due to constant physical, psychologic abuse. child abuse, child neglect and past traumatic experience.

 **grandiose delusions-** 2016 (age 21). due to the increase of his criminal career and wealth.

 **depersonalization disorder-** 2013 (age 18). the result of constant

abuse.

**Arrest & Sentencing Info:**

1/22/2011-Arkham Asylum- Involuntary murder- 2M 13D

12/4/2012-Arkham Asylum-Auto-incarceration- 4M 18D

2/15/2015-Arkham Asylum-First degree murder-8M 2D

8/21/2018-Arkham Asylum- Involuntary manslaughter-2M

 

as I read the last part, I hear someone knocking on the door.

"come in"- I said still reading.

the guard opened the door letting Novak in and then closing it, I stopped reading and looked at him.

"take a set please Mr. Novak"- I motioned to the chair in front of me.

he proceeded to sit down calmly and look at me.

"doing your homework doc.?"- he asked with a smirk

"I like to know about my patients beforehand in order to see what's the best plan of action".

"you could just ask me, I don't bite y'know"-he said raking his eyes up and down my body.

I just hummed and continued to read

"you should look at the person you're talking to Doc. it's rude to ignore someone y'know"-he stated a little annoyed

"Mr. Novak, I don't know how you did things with Charlie, but I'm here to treat you, not to be your friend, am I clear?"

"as a whistle, but tell me, dean? isn't it? tell me dean what makes you better than me huh? what makes you think you can help me? countless doctors tried and failed. hell, even Charlie failed, and she was the only one who's ever got in my mind, so what makes you special?"- he asked.

I just chuckled, that made him lift an eyebrow and slump back in the chair with a relaxed position

"this funny to you, I asked you a question, and I hate to be ignored"

"you want to know what makes me special Mr. Novak?". - I leaned in the desk- "well for starters I know what made you tick". - I leaned back in the chair and grabbed a notebook proceeding to ignore him and jotting down notes. that made him tilt his head confused and smirk.

"and what did make me tick?"-he asked

I didn't look up from the notebook, still taking notes.

"says here in your file that your mother Anna died in 95'. your brother Michael in 2011 and later your brother and father in 2015 right?"- I asked still taking notes

"why is it relevant"- I noticed his look of pure confusion.

"let me guess, your mother died giving birth to you then daddy and your brothers blamed you right?". -I looked at him and noticed his frown. -" then, years later they start to abuse you and beat you. since your brother died in the year you were first committed to Arkham and diagnosed. I take it he was the one who did those." -I pointed to the scars on his face. -" he made you snap and you killed him, and due to your psychosis then fours years later you killed your father and your brother. did I guess that right?"

for the first time since I met Novak, he showed me an emotion different than his normal cocky tone and smirk. he was wide-eyed for a few seconds, then resumed his cold appearance by scolding his features.

"Bravo, you're the first to put the pieces together doc, so what now, you gonna tell me how I shouldn't have done that? or why did I do it?. what's gonna be"

"I want to know why did you wait four years to kill your father"

"Pardon?"- he was surprised

"for all that I read and noticed on you, your father was the one that inflicted more trauma and harm towards you. and I can guess that your anger was mostly directed towards him, by the way, he died. so, tell me Castiel, why the long wait? why not kill him when you finally snapped"- I asked with a soft tone.

he looked at me like I was crazy, brows furrowed and tilted head like he was looking directly at my soul.

 

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**Cas' pov**

 

I took some time looking at the doctor, for the first time in my life I was at a loss for words. no one until now has asked me something like that. it was all, why did you do it? or telling me I shouldn't have done, no one dared ask me why it took four years to kill me, father.

if Dean Winchester intrigued me before, he now has my full curiosity. I looked at him, like really looked at him. and I like what I'm seeing, he's truly different than the others. I have to have him for myself, he's the perfect combination.

brains and looks, he only read my file and saw my scars and its like he knew me all along. just from reading the file he has done the unthinkable, he figured out my reasons. he figured out part of my mind, no matter how good the doctors were. no one until now noticed how my mind works, not even Charlie.

and she was the only person I've talked to for a long period of time. but this one cracked the code. I know I'm a psychopath, I embrace my craziness. most people including doctors have always criticized it, try to analyze it, he didn't. he honestly for good didn't question my morals or my reasons, just why didn't I do it sooner, it was like he... like he understood my reasons, like he knew what it was like. like he went through the same thing as me or at least something similar.

that thought made me pause, could it be? could I have finally found someone similar to me? I looked at him, he was calm and his face didn't show any emotion. like he was used to not showing emotions, come to think of it, he did seem odd, even to the guard yesterday.

when he answered his brothers call, he went from relaxed to tense in a blink of an eye, he refused his brother quickly. a normal person wouldn't do it. he said his schedule was busy. when everyone in this prison knows that the doctor assigned to me has a cleared schedule. and after that, he reached into his pocket and took some pills. that made me curious, I have to get everything about him. I'll probably need to call some favors

I won't let this one get away. if I think what I'm thinking, something has happened to this man who made him crazy. I'll find out what it was and then I'll just have to somehow bring his craziness back. he'll be my perfect sidekick then, the Harley to my joker, I can't wait to have this perfect man as mine.  


"what do you mean?"- I asked trying to look like I didn't just have a revelation.

"I mean that you went through a lot of trauma, and when that trauma finally took the best of you. you lashed out at the person closest to you, in that case, your brother Michael. after lashing out, you experienced what we call intermittent explosive disorder. its a behavioral disorder characterized by explosive outbursts of anger and violence.

often to the point of rage, not premeditated. and is defined by a disproportionate reaction to any provocation, real or perceived. so, it means that when Michael did that to your face, he made your possible fragile mental health shatter. which in turn made you kill him, I've seen what happens when someone has this disorder.

I've seen what it makes people do. so, my guess is. after you killed your brother you possibly went into shock. and that made you develop depersonalization disorder.

now, depersonalization disorder, also known as depersonalization/derealization disorder. is described as feeling disconnected or detached from one's self. sometimes, a person experiencing depersonalization. may feel as if they are an outside observer of their own thoughts and body.

and may feels a loss of control over their thoughts or actions. in your case, it only affected your body and not your mind. so, the question remains, why did you wait so long for killing your father. why not get rid of the problem when you had the chance? why not kill two birds with one stone?."- he asked

that made me have a blank, I honestly didn't know how to answer him.

"I honestly don't know"- I said borrowing my brows.

"could it possibly be to the fact that even though he was the main contributor towards your abuse. he was also your family?"

"Michael was also my family and I killed him in cold blood"- I smirked trying to get the upper hand.

"my guess is that you understand the reasons behind his actions. you saw his point of view, you saw a man that loved his wife deeply, who was his entire world.

you saw a man who lost part of himself, and noticed how much you probably looked like your mother, am I right?. you saw a man full of hurt and sadness, who lost someone he cared, and that he lost that due to the child in front of him. a child that resembled his late wife a lot.

so he blamed you for her death, wished you'de be the one that died that day instead of her. so he took it out on you. past all the pain, anger, hurt and torture you suffered. you saw him for who he was before her death, so you let him hurt you.

while in Michael's case you only saw the man he was, that's what made you kill him much quicker than your father. you didn't have the intention to kill your father in the first place. so my next guess is that. after you killed your brother and after your stay in Arkham. your father got worse, he got to the point where you no longer saw the broken men who lost his wife. you saw the man who inflicted you a great deal of pain. you saw your father for the man he's become, the monster he was. that's why it took you four years to do it"

"how did you figured it out so fast?"

"just my intuition, nothing more"

"that wasn't just intuition believe me. I've had a lot of doctors trying and poking at my mind, trying to find out the causes of my psychosis. you're the first person to ever get inside my mind, to notice the extent of my craziness.

you know how I am, what made me what I am. you can relate to me, the way you talk it's like... like you experienced something similar to what I did, so my question is, what happened to you Doc.? and why do you hide your craziness?. why don't you embrace it like me?."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here are the links to his mental illnesses  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intermittent_explosive_disorder  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandiose_delusions


	4. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Dean's past.  
> trigger warning:  
> past child abuse  
> rape

I leaned down on the chair after my rant and waited for his answer.

"what makes you think I'm similar to you?".- dean asked.

"simple, while your face doesn't disclose any feelings or thoughts, your eyes do. that why I'm certain that you went through something like I did, so tell me Doc. what happened to you?".

"nothing. and your assumptions couldn't be more wrong Castiel, besides, you're the patient here, not me."

"I may be the patient here, but even I know you're dodging my question. I'm simply curious as to why they choose you to me my doctor in particular."

"they choose me due to my high success rate among others".

"I don't believe you, Dean, there's something else you ain't telling me, and I'm gonna find out, sooner or later."

"there's nothing to find".-he gestured his hands around the space.-"but knock yourself out".

I thought about my plan of action and looked around the room, the office was simple. few personal objects and mostly files, I then looked at the safe in the right corner and noticed it was open. I could see all the file names in there, but one, in particular, caught my attention " **DW** " in bold letters.

while the others had the patient's full name, this one only had the initials. I needed to see who it belongs to. thinking a little, I came up with a plan. tonight I'll break into his office and steal the file, then I'll think about something.

"now, what do you think you'll learn or accomplish this time, this therapy. what do you think this time in Arkham will bring you?".

"depends on what I want doesn't it doc?".

"what do you mean?".-he asked brows furrowed in confusion.

"Well, what I want I cant have, at least not now, but in a few days perhaps". - I smirked looking intensely at his lips, I wondered how he would look with them wrapped around me. I want to know what sound I could pull from him.

I may be a sociopath threading on the line of a psychopath, but even I have a libido and the doc. is bringing in my deepest fantasies to light. soon, he'll be mine, I just have to play my cards right and soon he'll be eating by my hand, soon this one will be mine.

craziness and all. that makes a thrill go down my spine, to corrupt someone so innocent, it will feel so good, but now I have to wait and bid my time.

"what do you mean in a few days?"

"do you really think I'm gonna be here for the entire two months of my sentence? coming to Arkham for me is like a little vacation".

"even so, I'll still be doing my job and treat you for as long as you're here."

"good luck with that doc."

"you don't believe I can do it?"

"Oh, I do, I just don't think you'll do it"- I chuckled.

"you seem to underestimate what I can do."-he points to me. -"that there is your first mistake, you should never underestimate your opponent."

"so I make mistakes, who cares, I'm human, we all make mistakes".

"that may be so, but you're not a normal person you see."-he swirled his index finger in front of me. -"in the middle of all that insanity and madness lies a perfectionist, I've seen your murder MO.

even when it looks messy and uncoordinated to the naked eye, I can notice the psychosis you used. I can notice how some of the murders are perfectly messy.

you want to make people underestimate. you want them to think you're just insane. that you're just a cold-blooded killer, that you're not this smart calculist or a good strategist.

you want people to think you make mistakes easily. it thrills you, when they think it'll be easy to kill you, you do that to entertain yourself don't you? tell me Castiel, how does it feel when you do it?".

"it feels so fucking good doc. there's no feeling alike, to play with peoples minds and manipulate them".-i smirked.

the doctor hummed in agreement and looked at his watch.

"Unfortunately our session is over, we'll continue this tomorrow." -he said getting up and open the door to let the guard in.

the guard came and got me, he directed me towards my cell, while walking I looked back to the doc and smirked.

"have a good day dean, I'll see you tomorrow doc."

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**Dean's pov (later that day)**

 

when my appointment with Castiel ended I drove myself home, making a mental note of what I needed. after making said list I decided to get some grocery shopping done. also, restock my medicine cabinet.

I decided to stop by the pharmacy first in order to get some Zoloft and some Tylenol.

I went inside the pharmacy and waited my turn when the clerk attended to me I notice that it was Jody, thank god for that.

Jody was a good friend of Charlie and by some extent mine also, I ordered the drugs and waited. while I waited I engaged in some small talk with her just to pass the time. after getting the medication I paid and exited the store bidding a small goodbye to her.

after I left the pharmacy I drove to the small convenience store close to my apartment. I got out of the car and entered the store.

I had a list of things I needed with me.

~~lettuce;~~

~~milk;~~

~~cheese;~~

~~bread;~~

~~burger patties;~~

~~tomatoes;~~

~~juice;~~

~~coke;~~

~~beer;~~

~~butter;~~

~~meat;~~

~~fruit.~~

I went from aisle to aisle getting all the things I needed and crossing them off my list.

went I crossed the last item from my list I went to the counter and paid for my items, I then drove home.

as soon as I reached my apartment complex I got out of the car and went up the three flights of stairs. since I lived on the third floor, when I reached my apartment I let out a little huff of annoyance. right by my door was sam, sitting on the stairs. he must have been there for some time due to his sagged posture. I continued walking and put the key in the lock.

"what are you doing here Sam?".-i asked a little annoyed.

"you weren't returning my calls so I did a little digging and found your place."

"there was a reason I wasn't returning your calls, Sam, I've been busy."

"don't bullshit me, Dean, I called your work. they said your schedule was pretty clear since you began treating Castiel Novak".

"Maybe I just didn't wanna talk to you, ever thought about that?." -I asked while stepping into my apartment and going straight to the kitchen.

"I just wanted to talk to you, I haven't seen you since you disappeared all those years ago, I thought you were dead. then I see you on the news, that not only are you alive but you're also one of the best psychiatrists in the country."

dean just hummed in agreement and started making some burgers for dinner.

"what happened dean, why did you left?".-sam asked

"personal reasons".-he turned to sam. -"you know about me, so, what have you been doing with your life?"

"I'm a lawyer, I'm working for a firm two towns over."

"that's good, you always said you wanted to be a lawyer, its good to hear it worked out for you". -I turned my attention towards the burgers.

"and how about you? did you always wanted to be a doctor?".

Dean thought for a moment before answering. -"not always, but after some time with Charlie, i noticed how good I was and decided to pursue a career in it."

"Charlie, is she your girlfriend?".

"no, she was my friend".

"was?"

"Yeah, she got killed five years ago. she's actually the reason I decided to treat the criminal insane specifically."

"Oh, I didn't know that, did she had any family?".

"no, she just had me, this apartment was her's originally. then I moved in and after she died I just couldn't bear to leave it behind."

"are you happy being a doctor in Arkham?".

"mostly yes, its a very rewarding job."-I started assembling the burgers.

after assembling them I put them into two plates, one for me and the other for sam. I then grabbed two beers from the fridge and sat down at the table.

we ate dinner in a compatible silence and after it, i walked Sam to the door.

"don't be a stranger okay? call me sometime".-sam asked, "I will, I promise."-I lied.

after Sam left I went straight to bed and dropped into a dreamless sleep. with a bad feeling about something, what it was, I didn't know.

 

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**Cas' pov (later that night)**

after the guards made their final round of the night I snuck out of my cell and picked up the lock of dean's office. after picking the lock I snuck inside and went straight to the safe. after opening the safe I took the file with the name " **DW** " and sat down on the chair next to the television. I opened the file and saw the contents inside, I was lucky, it really was dean's file. apparently, he was also in Arkham.

 **File Number:** #8201475-740

 **Purpose Code** : C-620159-3(5)

 **SRU ID** : D529

 **Name:** Dean Campbell Winchester

 **Date of Birth:** 1/22/1994

 **Affiliation:** John Winchester-Father-Unknown

Mary Campbell Winchester-Mother-Deceased (1998)

Samuel Campbell Winchester-Brother-Alive

 **Nationality:** American

 **Citizen:** Yes

 **Gender:** Male

 **Race/Ethnicity:** White/Caucasian

 **Height:** 5'5"

 **Weight:** unknown

 **Hair Color:** Sandy Blond

 **Eye Color:** Apple Green

 **Age:** 19

**Medical Diagnosis History:**

extreme social anxiety-2012 (age 19). due to past extreme physical and psychologic abuse and past extreme child abuse.

clinical depression-2012 (age 19). due to past extreme child abuse.

 

I wondered what went down in order for dean's file to be this old.

after reading the file I noticed the CD inside, I took it out and put it on the DVD player, pressing play.

_"so, dean, first off all, we'll record all of our sessions so you can keep track of your progress is that right?". -charlie asked._

_"whatever you think is right Doc. I trust you".-a younger version of dean said._

_"let's start from the beginning shall we, tell me about yourself"._

_"My name is Dean Winchester, I'm 19, I'm an Aquarius"._

_"dean, why are you here?"._

_"I'm here because I ran away and decided to commit myself to Arkham"._

_"why did you decide to commit yourself to Arkham?"._

_"I did it because I tried to kill my father"._

_"and why did you try to kill your father?"._

_"he...he H... hurt m...me very badly".-he said teary-eyed._

_"how did you father hurt you, what did he do?"._

_"my mom died when Sammy was six months old and I was four, after her death, my dad was never the same._

_he began drinking and when I was six he... he drank a lot and began hitting me, I never understood why he did it y'know, I always looked up at him. he never did it to Sam, but that was only because I always stopped him before he hurt Sam. so I took the beatings with a head held high, so Sam didn't saw me break down._

_sometimes he would ask why my eye was swollen or why my arms were purple, I used to tell him I got into a lot of fights in school. he never knew the truth."_

**_next video_ **

_"can you tell me what happened when you were nine?"-charlie asked._

_"I was helping Sam do his homework when dad came home drunk, I ordered sam to go to his room and lock the door. dad came closer to me, he reeked of alcohol, he told me how much I looked like my mom._

_next thing I know, he's r...raping me, when I looked up I saw Sammy there. I was just lucky he didn't know what was going on after it was over I locked myself in the bathroom and I broke down._

_I shut myself out after it happened I didn't talk to anyone, not even sam, I distanced myself from everybody. it happened for some years, one day in school._

_some of the jocks in my school heard the rumors and cornered me in the boys' locker room. they tried to rape me and I fought back, when I got home. sammy was sleeping at a friends house, I told my dad._

_he called me_ a F...faggot _and told me didn't want his son to be a faggot, he beat the crap out of me that day. I cracked and grabbed a bottle and slammed it in his head, he fell unconscious._

_I set fire to the house and then fell on my knees on the floor, I just kept laughing, I didn't even found it funny. I just kept laughing because apparently being fucked was only okay if it was him._

_the fireman took us out of the house and we went to the hospital, apparently, the bastard was still alive. I stayed in the hospital for a few hours and then I ran, I ran as far as my feet took me. and now I'm here, in a fucking asylum for the criminally insane."_

_"yes, but you're not a criminal. you came of your own free will, that means you want to get help. it means you know something's wrong with you, keep that in mind."_

I watched the rest of the videos and then I put the file in the safe and went back to my cell. so that was what happened to Dean, after seeing the videos, it only made me want him more.

this beautiful creature went through as much pain as I, he was as broken and twisted as me. now I really must have him, I want to make him my perfect sidekick now, I can imagine it all. me and him terrorizing people, the king, and queen of crime.

its all very tempting, I just have to bring his craziness back and if I ever find John Winchester. I'm gonna show him what happens if someone hurts my dean.

 


	5. Let's play a little Game

**a few days later**

 

**cas' pov**

 

it took me a few days but I finally came up with a plan, if I wanted to bring dean's craziness back I had to be creative. I had everything I needed here in Arkham. and after collecting a few favors and bribing a few of the guards I had everything settled.

 

I would escape the same day and bring dean with me, it was the perfect plan. I just had to attend my appointments with Dean and keep an eye on him.

 

as soon as I could I ordered one of my men to follow him and learn his routine. as soon as I had his routine I would decide the best way to take him, I just had to be patient.

 

my appointments with him went perfectly normal. dean didn't suspect anything and did his job normally.

 

one time or the other he would be a little fidgeting and looked like he wasn't getting much sleep. the only reason behind it would be the man I ordered to follow him.

 

making him as uncomfortable as possible was working. soon he would be a little paranoid making it easier to put my plan in motion and to bring his craziness back. just a few more days and soon he will be mine, but for now, unfortunately, I have to wait.

 

that's why currently I'm in his office for one more of this godforsaken appointments.

 

he's asking me the same questions since the first appointment, making me lose my nerve.

 

"tell me doc. if you say you ain't like me why don't you tell me a little about your past?".- I sneered.

 

"I'm not the one who needs this type of treatment Castiel, I'm not at liberty to discuss my life with you".- he said politely

 

"why? Are you scared of it? come on Doc. what's the big deal?".- I snarked leaning further into my chair.

 

"there is no deal, I'm just here for your treatment, nothing more".

 

"I thought you were different"- I tsked

 

"different? how so?"

 

"I saw your file dean, I thought you were like me and seeing the file proved it".

 

"what file? what're you talking about?".- he asked looking at me wide-eyed

 

"you don't know, I'll tell you then. I saw your file, the one you keep in your safe. you try so hard to be normal, but we both know you're as crazy as I am. I know how you wished you were able to kill the man who hurt you that bad. I can help you if you want". - I leaned forward looking him straight in the eyes. -" you just have to embrace your craziness, let it out and join me. join me my sweet Harley, and together we can get your must needed revenge. come with me, let us rule this town together.

if you let your craziness out and embrace it I can help you track down your father. I can help you finally get some closure, I can help you get revenge on the man. what do you say, dean, will you embrace your craziness just like I did and come with me?.

be the Harley to my joker, what do you say huh?. let's be crazy together"- I push my hand forward and wait for his answer.

I already know what he'll answer, of course, he'll decline. but that's all part of the plan, he's still righteous, I'll have to do something about it. only then I can help him embrace his craziness and all it entails.

he suddenly stands up and leaves, calling the guard and telling him he's gonna cut shortly and go home. I think he's finally a little paranoid now. I just have to wait a little longer and he'll be mine.

the guard transported me to my cell and before entering he passed me a small paper envelope. closing the cell door after doing it, leaving me with my thoughts.

 

>   * **_its all set boss here's all you'll need for tonight._**
> 


 

that was what the note said, after reading it I dug inside the envelope retrieving two keys. one for my cell door and one for the room, now I just had to wait for the right time. the guys would put dean in the room exactly at 8 pm and prepare everything I need. then I'll just have to enter and do what I need to do.

 

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**dean's Pov**

 

this last week has been very uneventful for me I've got the feeling that someone was watching me. trying to maintain my routine was hard, it's true that I'm feeling a bit paranoid. like someone is noticing my every move and that somehow concerns me a lot. I mean. I'm just a doctor at a psychiatric facility who treats criminal insane prisoners.

who would be interested in my life in the slightest? brushing those thoughts aside I actually called sam this week. making an appointment for dinner. that was the only reason I'm currently sitting at the burger joint this late at night. catching up with my estranged brother.

"so dean, how've you been?"-he asked me while digging into his salad.

"I've been good, as good as someone can expect"

"what do you mean?"-he asked

"nothing, I just have a lot on my plate lately. I have to come up with a new strategy to treat a patience of mine because my current one isn't working".

"you're treating that Novak guy isn't you?"

"yeah, Castiel Novak"

"the dude's batshit crazy, I heard people call him the joker"

"why would they call him that?"

"because of his scars, he looks like he's smiling all the time. when he kills someone he laughs, at least those are the rumors"

"Hmm, don't know if that's true, but the guy ain't batshit crazy. at least he doesn't look crazy to me".

"well, I don't know, but I believe you. changing the subject, could you please tell me what happened the day of the fire please?"

"why do you want to know Sam?"

"well, for once you and dad almost died because of it and then after I went to visit you in the hospital but you were nowhere to be found. I wanna know what happened, why did you disappear?".

"as I said before, I left because of personal reasons. I don't owe you anything, so if I don't want to say anything about that day I won't. now what I want to know is why are you here. and don't say its to catch up for lost time because I don't believe you"

sam sighed and straightened up a little

"I'm not here because of it."-he paused. -"when I found out you were alive and were a doctor I was with dad. he wanted to know what happened to you, he asked me to find you".

"what does he want?"

"he whats you to visit him and to catch up".

I snorted, after all that bastard did to me he had the nerve to want to meet me.

"he knows where I am, if he wants to talk to me he can come here, I ain't going anywhere".

sam tried to protest but I didn't let him, making this the most awkward dinner ever.

the rest of the week was filled with that creepy feeling that someone was watching me. my suspicions were getting bigger after I found out someone was in the apartment. the person didn't take anything. the only evidence that someone was indeed there was the red rose on the bedside table. after that started I to freak out.

I became more paranoid after my appointment with Castiel today, he was being evasive. I couldn't believe he found my file, granted, it was in my safe, but for him to get to it he would have to break in.

for a split second today I was tempted to accept the offer, but it wouldn't be correct, I am a doctor.

clearing the thoughts from my head I stripped down my clothes and got into bed, falling asleep in seconds.

a few hours later I groggily started waking up slowly, I tried to move but couldn't. trying to move around I noticed my arms and legs were secured with something panicking I opened my eyes abruptly.

the first thing I noticed after opening my eyes was Castiel looming over me, apparently without a shirt on, showing his tattoos. I was brought back from my staring as his gravelly voice whispered close to my ear.

"we're gonna have so much fun, Harley, you and me together".-he started laughing maniacally.


	6. Welcome home Harley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning:  
> eletroshock theraphy without sedatives, may be triggering

**Cas's POV**

I waited patiently for time to come, planning ahead what I would do to Dean as soon as my men brought him to me.

I started to think, why not give him some electroshock therapy like he gave me? what would happen if I did it? after all, he did the same to me. that type of therapy was new to me, none of the other doctors gave it to me, but dean did. oh, how he messed up, how he messed me up, left me in a black hole of rage and confusion.

he twisted my mind in a way I don't like, he wants to make me normal, I am normal, at least by my definition of normal.

how dare he, I don't want normal, I want him, preferentially by my side, he thought he could actually cure me.

oh, how wrong he was, he just bought me time to prepare, and now that everything is ready I just need to wait for him.

I'm gonna crush all of his hope and sanity, I'm going to remake him as my Harley Quinn, the perfect partner of crime.

I'm absolutely furious that he decided I needed electric shock therapy. " _it will be good for you Castiel, it will help you become better, help you become sane."_ he had said, no way in hell was I going to become sane, over my dead body.

no doctor has been able to help me, no doctor has been able to understand me nor my head. but he has, oh, how he has. dean somehow was able to understand me, understand my thirst for blood, understand how my head works. he was able to almost cure me, key word being almost.

if I don't grab him tonight and bring his craziness back he will be able to actually cure me, ME. **CASTIEL NOVAK** , mostly known as the Joker, oh the irony, the headlines, I can already imagine them. ** _"Castiel Novak, the Joker is sane, the crazy killer is cured"_**. it would be a disaster of epic proportions, in no way was I going to jeopardize everything I've done until now.

in no way am I going to part way from my craziness, its a part of me, simple as that.

in other, more simple words, I'm screwed, royalty fucking immensely screwed if he cures me, so its now or never. I need my Harley and I'm not leaving this asylum without him, no matter what costs.

Dean Winchester shall be mine, mock my words I say to myself, he shall be my Harley, no matter what happens.

after my little inner monologue I look out of my cell and see the time, ha, 8 o'clock, it's time.

I take my cell key from my pocket and open the door, after that I walk down the hallway and towards the guards' station.

I look up and see the guard, the one I paid off, I look up to him and he nods, opening the gate for me.

after that I walk down the hallways and doors towards the room I requested for my lovely Dean.

I entered the medical room and closed the door from inside, preventing someone from interrupting us.

the men I sent to spy on Dean was inside, and so was he.

he looked beautiful as ever, unconscious but still very beautiful.

"was it hard to retrieve him?". - I asked the man.

"no, he was asleep when I got there, just had to sedate him so the ride wouldn't wake him up."

"good, job well done, remember me to reward you after this".-i said while walking closer to my Dean.

the man nodded and went to wait by the door, holding his Glock in one hand.

I waited for Dean to wake up approximately five minutes, preparing everything I would need in those five minutes of course.

he woke up slowly, tried to move but when he noticed his arms and legs were bound his eyes shot open with a panicked look.

I was looming over him and when he finally noticed me he stared at my chest for a while, probably accessing my tattoos.

of course, he was brought back to reality by my voice.

"we're gonna have so much fun, Harley, you and me together".-I said starting to laugh maniacally.

when he didn't say anything I continued.

"Doctor Winchester"- I said -" how nice of you to join me. You're looking... good enough to eat."- his eyes widened at that.-"figuratively speaking, of course. I'm strictly vegan. at least today".

Dean squirmed in his bindings but they held on as they should be.

"time for some electroshock therapy"- I laughed.

"please don't. Please. I just tried to help you"-he tried to struggle free, but the straps were designed to hold a 400-pound madman.

I fell back. my eyes rolled into my head as I simply couldn't believe what I had just heard. I shook my head to clear away my confusion, then I stuck my face inches away from Dean's own.

" _You helped me_?"-I growled and repeated.-" _You helped me?_ _By scorching what little memories I had into a sizzling knot? By trying to take away what makes me **ME**?_ ".-i growled again.

"That was prescribed".- he pleaded.-"Everything said it was the best possible cure for you".

"For my what boy? A cure for my genius? My insanity? or maybe you mean it was for my sarcasm? You know, I got that when I killed my father".

he looked at me, obviously confused. I leaned closer to him.

"Doctor Winchester, do you know that for years he kept saying I was too serious, what's the expression? Ah, that I had " **a stick up my ass** "

I sighed at the thought.

"Anyway, where was I? Oh. Right. At a point don't you think even a total idiot would say. " _Maybe he doesn't like your company_ " or better, that " _you beat him every day, what did you expect sunshine and rainbows_?". what do you think?".- I asked.

"I don't know what to say".- He responded.-" Please don't make me, please let me go Castiel".-he pleaded

"Let you go?".-i asked.

I scratched my chin as if I was thinking deeply, then gave him a big smile.

"Let you go? That's an idea, but when it was my turn to get my brains scrambled, you didn't let me go, did you?".

" I'm sorry, I was just trying to help".

"I know. I'm sure you thought electrifying my brains was the best way to fix all my many problems. But I've got to ask you a question, Doctor. Did it ever cross your itty-bitty Brain that maybe you could spend just a little extra time to come up with a better solution than churning my brain matter into instant pudding? What do you think, love? Would taking a little more time have proven a better way to go?”

"Maybe. Sure. Why not?".- Winchester stammered, more than willing to agree with anything I said.- "I mean if that's what you think. I was just trying to do the right thing."

I flailed my arms, hands waving back and forth, puppet-like, uncontrolled. as if the hinges that held them to my wrists had broken.

"Doing the right thing, Huh? You tossed me into a black hole of rage and confusion. Is that the medicine you practice Dr. Winchester? Is that 'doing the right thing' for all your special patients?".

I held a leather strap in one hand, and with the other traced a sharp pale nail along his lips.

"Now, I'm throwing you into the same black hole, time to bring your craziness back, Dean". -I said as I stroked his face with the leather strap, then rested it over his closed mouth. -"open up sweetheart".-I said as I pushed the strap between his lips. -"and bite hard so you don't break those perfectly white teeth when the juice hits your brain. you'll thank me later".

I stepped back and gave him a wide smile, laughing my approval.

"you are so going to be my harlequin, and I, could not be more proud Harley."

I grabbed two paddles that had been sitting on the small steel instrument table. Making a show of smearing them in conductive jelly then placed them on his temples.

Dean knew what was coming, and my slow, deliberate moves only prolonged his horror. When I smiled at him... With my awful gleaming, murdering smile... He screamed through the ball and leather strap.

"forget who you were".- I giggled, but Dean knew he never would. Even if I bring his craziness back he'll never forget what he once was, the doctor that almost cured the Joker. keyword being almost.

Dean Winchester was in love with the man.

he convulsed as 450 volts seared through his brain. His face contorted in impossible agony. His teeth ground into the rubber. Castiel was right-if he hadn't stuffed the ball in Dean's mouth, his teeth would have cracked as he smashed them together.

the psychiatrist writhed in agony. Pain and pleasure. More pain than pleasure, more pleasure than pain.

Until he heard the machine suddenly go dead. His teeth stopped chewing the rubber ball, which was almost completely shredded into ragged strings. And then his body went slack. A single tear fell from his open eyes.

Goodbye, sanity.

**_Hello, madness, my old friend._ **


	7. Hello Madness, my old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This early chapter is brought to you curtely by TielCas987, whom recentely joined me in the writing of this fic.  
> -Z

** Deans POV **

Darkness. Pain. Nothing. I couldn't feel anything but the constant aching all over my body as I slowly drifted back to consciousness.

I spent so long ignoring every dark thought telling me to embrace the crazy that was constantly fighting to be freed and now that it was... Well I wasn't going to be holding back the darkness my father put in me all those years ago, just twisting it a bit for my own sake.

After a few minutes of just letting all my pain and insanity completely grab its hold on my mind, I slowly opened my eyes only to wince at the bright lights glaring down at me.

 

"You finally woke up." -The voice startled me and I winced at the pain in my weak body from jumping.

 

My throat was so dry i could barely form a sentence without my voice painfully cracking and making me whimper as my entire body ached at the slightest movement. i didn't want to, but panic was starting to rise as i didn't know where i was, so i forced myself to speak.

 

"Wh-... where m' I?"-was all i could manage to say before i was coughing uncontrollably.

 

The other man started manically laughing at this. The laughing only frustrated me as I let out a strangled grunt.

 

"DeanDeanDeanDean,"-The man whispered while giggling,- "my beautiful Harley, you are mine now!" -by now the man was beaming sarcastically at me.

 

i didn't know why, but I uncontionately started to calm down at those words. "Yours...."-i found him self saying.

 

"Who a-...am I?"-my voice was still weak but i knew this was important.

 

More giggling. 

 

"You are mine. My beautiful Dean!"

 

"Dean..." -i still had my eyes closed as the light was too much for me to handle, but i wanted to see the man.

 

As soon as i opened my eyes, light overwhelmed me. After a few moments of adjusting, I could see better.

Glancing around the room, its too dark to see everything but there is a couch and a leather chair next to it and- i couldn't help but release a small gasp as my eyes fell on the most beautiful creature i was sure to ever exist.

Sitting on the couch with an amused yet fiery look on his face, was a well built man with raven black hair that i could only describe as sex-hair.

A beautiful but thorned smile, almost creepy with the scars along his mouth. His stunning cerulean blue eyes stared straight into mine, but i felt like he was looking into my soul. i knew i should feel uncomfortable but i don't. i feels safe. Even with the man's aura that screams trouble.

i could only keep his gaze, everything else wasn't important. i couldn't help but let the following words escape from my mouth and dance on his tongue. 

"So beautiful." 

it wasn't a lie, it wasn't something i was just saying to make my captor happy so i could escape; i've noticed the restraints earlier, but there wasn't any hidden agenda behind my words, i was simply speaking what i truly felt. 

my world lit up when the man smiled so wide his eyes crinkled. To a normal person, the man's smile would look crazy, murderous even, but for me it looked beautiful. i couldn't think of anything but that smile. God this man was beautiful, even eith a twisted and thorned smile, adornated by the two angry scars alongiside his mouth.

The man got up from where he was sitting, and walked over where I was bound, smiling, a wicked smile with a glint in his eyes the whole time. i didn't notice it at first, but i was smiling too aparentely. 

The reason behind that smile getting lost in my mind when The gorgeous man reached over and cupped my cheek. 

"Mine."- was all the man said before he smashed our lips together rough yet passionate, Dominating yet sweet.

i couldn't hold back the whimper as the other man's plump lips were begging for as they were hungrily dominating mine. The man forced his entrance with a swipe of his tongue and a nip of his theeth on my bottom lip. i happily opened my mouth to accept the playful tongue that danced with great avidity. 

I tried to lift my arms to wrap them around the man but remembered that i was still bound. Even though it kind of turned me on somehow, i let out a frustrated grunt as i couldn't touch.

The blue eyed man pulled back with an eye brow arched; a question. This only made me moan from how sexy the man's features were right now. 

 

"Want to....touch you." -i said, my voice deeper than before from all the lust and want that overwhelmed my mind.

 

The man only smiled wickedly and moved his face further away from mine. I had to bite my lip to hold back a whimper. Damn this man was a tease.

 

"Please...Sir, I want to touch and I always get what I want."-I said, my voice laced with a childish tone, saying every word slowly and looking into his eyes. 

When i was done talking, i licked my lips seductively and knew i succeed when the other man's eyes followed the action, smiling wickedly.

The man grunted growled and pulled my face towards his, with his hands cupping both cheeks, meeting me half way and hungrily smashing our lips together. 

While i was distracted, the man slowly started to release me from his restraints. i was so caught up in the moment, that i didn't even notice.

When the older man pulled back, i gave him a confused look. When the man looked at my hands, I followed his gaze and realized my hands and feet were now free.

 

"Let's go. I have somewhere to take you." 

 

i knew he was't asking so I quickly got up ,but before i made a single step forward, i realized something. i didn't know the strange man's name.

 

"Uh... I- I don't know your name..."- i said with my head lowered. The childish tone somehow appearing in my voice again. 

 

When the man stepped in front of me, he cupped my right cheek, making me look him in the eyes. 

 

"Castiel, but you can call me Cas my sweet Harley." 

 

i followed Cas out of the room quietly, not knowing what this gorgeous twisted man had in store for me.

 

 

 

 


	8. A twisted love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minor character death

**Cas' pov**

 

Doctor Dean Winchester, one of Arkham's most brilliant and dedicated psychiatrists, was no more.

 _eletroshock. what a wonderful way of destroying a soul_ , I though as I watched Winchester's eyes roll up into their sockets and dribble pour from between his lips. I laughed uncontrollably as each hair on his arms and neck stood up on their own and began a freakish dance.

I watched Dean Winchester dissapear as each cell in his body was assaulted with electricity. a process that was intended to induce seizures as a means of providing relief from crippling psychiatric disorders such as autism, catatonia, and schizophrenia.

for those sufferers and others, properly administered electroshock treatments were accompanied by IV muscle relaxants, with each session lasting no longer than then minutes. I had recieved hundreds of such treatments.

 _what if those sessions instead lasted for hours?_ I had wondered. _Maybe_ _even days?_ and what if, instead of receiving the relaxants, they recieved, oh... nothing? I could onlyimagine the joyfully painful results as the body thrashed on the med table, breaking arms and legs and so much more.

during my own treatments I had worn a laryngeal mask over my mouth, with a tube stuck down my throat, to make certain my brain continued to recieve much needed oxygen. but did the brain really need oxygen, I asked myself. what would happen if I intentionally forgot the damned mask, and let the oxygen chips fall where they may, so to speak.

so I went to work to answer my questions, and soon I had the answers.

Dean Winchester ceased to exist, but he gave birth to a far greater insanity that even I anticipated, or could hope for from the once venerable Dr. Winchester.

Dean winchester was very much alive, and he was more than ready to give thanks to his " _ **puddin'**_."

with dyed-sandy blond hair tinged in pink and blue, he was drop-dead gorgeous-in the prison vernacular, high-velocity sex on a stick. he was also as insatiable as he was insane.

more than that, dean Winchester was the kind of psychotic I had always wanted as my pet/lover. dubbed as Harley Quinn, Dean Winchester was the perfect defenition of insanity and loyalty. A kind of deranged person whose moral compass is shatered beyond repair.

for a sweet natured psychiatrist with a terrible past becoming a sick man who loves to kill sounds like a bad puch line. but I did a excelent job with this one, not only is he insane, but he's as insane as me. having a body like that is just the icing on top of the cake.

The perfect harlequin for my joker, the main reason to treat him as my harley, my sideckick, my partner.

sure, I love to kill. there are a few things I enjoyed more. Actually, there is nothing I enjoyed more, but for Harley, killing is only the first act. he couldn't wait to get to acts two and three, followed by an extended curtain call, ending with our clothes ripped and destroyed.

being it on the floor of a room or public place, my harley really is as insasiable as he is insane. but he gets off with the thrill of geting caught. _Aaaand, scene_! the play is complete.

so, here we are, two months later after escaping Arkham and bringing him with me.

so when I plopped down into my plush VIP seat, and Harley went to join the club's go-go dancers for a little one-on-one gyration. I wasn't all that surprised that my fellow criminal conspirators wantonly stared at him. the question wasn't, " _who wouldn't stare_?" the question was, who dared to?

pretty much all the guys stared, really. lots of the women, too, but only for a second or two, turning away when he didn't return said stares. their eyes not so innocently swept the room, only to rest on my Harley for a moment longer than anything else. then, if they were smart, they moved on. it was just a little peek.

I wouldn't fault them for that.

but there was a new goon in town who called himself Alistair . He stared, then he kept staring, and I felt him heating up from all the way across the club.

"Hey. Yes! there he is".- I said loudly enough to be heard. -"the infamous Harley Quinn. You enjoying him, pal?".

Alistair started to say yes, then he realised his mistake.

"No. No way. That's your boy, joker". - yet he couldn't help but take another look at harley, before turning back. -"I mean, you an' me, we do a hell of a lot of business. i ain't messing that up". -then he fell silent and looked at the floor, no doubt hoping that would satisfy me.

I stood and stared at Alistair.

"Are you saying you don't like him?. -I said. -"Maybe you're saying you hate him?". -I leaned in, and Al tried to push back, but there was a wall behind him. -"what do you have against him, Al?."

Alistair waved his hands in protest. -"C'mon, Joker". -the goon stammered. -"What am i gonna say, brother? There ain't no right answer."

I turned to harley, who was still dancing, his sandy blond-pink and blue died hair acentuating his freckles. his black skinny jean-clad legs with knee-high boots swaying at the club music. his torso muscles flexed and prominet under the thin white and red crop top.

I whistled to him, making him cartwheel of the stage and join us.

"Mister J?". -He said, grining.

Alistair knew what was coming next. Harley was gonna tear him into little pieces. or worse.

I patted Al on the shoulder and smiled. Al flinched.

"Harley, it's been a good run 'til now, but you're my gift to this gentleman. You belong to him."

Al stared. what the hell game was Joker playing? he thought.

Harley ground his way onto Al's lap and gave an approving nod. -"this guy? Cool". -he brought his face closer to his. -"You know, you're cute". -he said. -"So, you want me? I'm all yours, lover".

Harley rested his hand on Al's thigh. Al couldn't stop sweating as his gaze went back and forth between Harley and Joker. He knew he was caught between two psychopaths, but he didn't know if they left him any sort of exit strategy.

"Joker".- Al said, pleading with psychopath number one. -"I don't want no trouble".

I stretched my arms and yawned. -"then accept my gift. I'm sick of him." -I said as I pulled my purple custom made .45 from my pocket and held it out.

"Or better, shoot him. push his hair right on back with a bullet. either way, do me the favor. please."

Harley caressed Alistair's face and gave him a series of small pecks. It felt really good, he thought, but then he shook himself back to reality. the gun hovered there in my hand.

"right between my eyes, lover".- Harley said, poking his index finger just above his nose. -"In the good ol' glabella."

Alistair had to take the gun. if he didn't, that white-skinned lunatic would surely shoot him, even with quinn sitting on his lap for the whole club to see. so he accepted it.

"say thank you".- I said.

"thank you."- Alistair replied. this had to be a joke, but they'd already taken it too far. Harley edged himself off him and stood, watching intently. Al kept praying Joker would suddently burst out laughing.

just a joke, he'd say. just a big, funny ha-ha joke.

I wasn't even smiling.

what were they going to do to him? If he told Joker that Harley was gorgeous, Joker would kill him for trying to step on his boy. If he told Joker he wasn't gorgeous, joker would kill him for intimating that Al had lousy taste in men.

Al was sweating bullets. the tension was growing. There were dozen of eyes, staring only at him.

"so" -I said. -"do you know the answer now?".

Al did, and he silently nodded.

I laughed and gestured for him to continue. -"Time for you to save yourself".

Al looked at the purple gun, still in his hand, and placed the barrel under his chin. He didn't believe in God, but he muttered a quick prayer, only to be interrupted before having the chance of pulling the trigger.

"not yet lover boy".- Harley said, and turned to me. -" puddin' why don't we do something fun with him instead of killing him. y'a know, with his group you could gain a lot of more money". - He said, flutering his eyelashed to me.

"smart boy".- I said, and laughed. -" he's got a point y'a know, why kill you if I can use you". -I reached for the gun and took it out of Alistair's hands. -"be thankfull Harley let you live, now get out. I'll contact you sonner".

Al got up from his seat quickly and ran to the exist without looking back.

Harley squealed with delight and leaned into me for a big kiss, but I pulled back.

"Don't tought me".- I growled. -"This is on you. You know that I hate that guy for staring at you, I wanted him dead".

"puddin', it's not my fault I make myself look so good for you. other guys can only wish an' stare 'cause they're so jelous. I mean, you should think of it as them honoring your great taste in boys- and I'm you boy, aren't I, honey?".

I grabbed him by the arm, and harley squealed as I dragged him from the club.

"yeah, you are, but you keep pushing me, and one'a these days you're going to cross the line, Harley".

"then what?".-He asked.

I laughed. -"I dunno. We'll draw ourselves a new line, and another, and probably cross them, too".

 

 


	9. The world starts falling down

**[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ie7X4p7k-50&feature=youtu.be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ie7X4p7k-50&feature=youtu.be) **

 

**Cas' Pov**

 

it's been three months since our escape from Arkham. three months after the famous psychiatrist Dr. Dean Winchester became the infamous Harley Quinn. three months since I tortured the good loving doctor to the point of insanity.

oh, I'm not saying I feel, not at all. in fact I'm delightful, my ego just gets bigger and bigger when I see him killing someone. oh, how the mighty has fallen, and he's all mine, my little pretty insane killing machine.

I'm proud of my work, proud to have broken the doctor, proud that he has forgotten his life before becoming my Harley. he developed repressed memory due to the trauma I've caused him and later developed retrograde amnesia as a side effect.

I'm just curious has to what will happen when something happens that will trigger his memory, how would he feel? now, that's a thing I want to try, what will happen when he gets his memory back? I presume that since he was a doctor, he'll go into some kind of shock due to all.

what will happen? how will he act? those thoughts are the most common ones going around my head right now, I want to test the theory but something's keeping me from doing it. perhaps it's the thought of losing him, losing my Harley. wait-what? losing him? where are these thoughts swirling around my head, I don't give a shit about what happens to him, but at the same time, I do.

what's happening to me? this feeling is foreign to me. what's the matter with me, I'm Castiel Novak, the infamous Joker, the ruthless psychopath that rules over the crime syndicate of Gotham city.

I'm not someone who cares about anything, much less some broken doctor. but I do, I care about him, I care about the broken doctor who came into my life suddenly and turned it all around.

I care about the broken doctor who became crazy because of me, I was the one who pushed and pushed until there was nothing more to push. I care about this crazy person with a high bloodlust, who just likes to kill and kill until there's no one left to kill. This person who gets crazier by the minute, whose whole world revolves around me. losing him would be worse than getting my sanity back, now that I've had a taste of Dean Winchester I'm not letting him go, not now, not ever. He's my Harley, my heart, my-something.

I can't lose him no matter what happens, he shall always be mine, no matter who I have to kill, no matter what I have to do, I'm not giving him up. but of course has always, something puts a wrench on my plans, and this wrench has a name. Sam Winchester, Sam fucking Winchester had to open his big mouth and ruin my plans.

"He was lastly sawn in his apartment, we had dinner together that night, he said he was tired, that he didn't know what treatment his patient would need. if anyone has any information about his whereabouts please tell me, he's my brother, I need to find him." Sam Winchester pleaded to the camera in front of him.

_and there you have it, Sam Winchester, brother of one Dean Winchester. you may know Winchester for his famous rehabilitation work in Arkham Asylum. he recently took charge of Castiel Novak. Novak was sentenced to Arkham asylum for involuntary manslaughter, and ordered by the judge to attend 4-hour sessions with Winchester. last time his colleagues saw Winchester was on the day of his disappearance three months ago, he had cut short his session with Novak and had rushed home. that was the last time his colleagues had seen him if anyone has any information regarding his whereabouts please call the number on the screen._

“puddin' who's that? And why is he talking about you?”. he asked, looking at me very pointedly.

“ no one of importance Harley, now come on, we've got a lot to do today and I can't have you slacking out”.

 

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**Dean’s POV**

 

 

I woke in a panic, sweat dripping down my forehead. My breath uneven and weary. As I stare at the ceiling, I hear Cas startle awake beside me.

“Dean! Dean, what’s wrong? Oh, Harley...” I can hear the panic in his voice, but I can’t find myself to focus on anything at the moment. 

When Cas put his hand on my waist, I unintentionally winced, making him pull back. Even though I hated it, what I just saw scared me to no end.

“Please! Puddin’ please!” I said barely above a whisper, reaching out for him. I almost let the tears burning in my eyes fall as he pulled me against his chest and protectively placed his arms around my torso.

“S’ okay Harley, I've got you now.” Cas soothed, and nuzzled his face in the back of my neck as I melted against him. 

Even as the details of my horrifying dream fade away, I can still see the terrifying man throwing his fist against my face, knocking me to the ground and kicking... kicking and kicking, never stopping. I can feel the pain of what violence I was receiving in the dream and shuddered. 

Before I could think more about the dream, I slipped off into unconsciousness.

 

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**Cas' Pov**

 

“S' okay Harley, I've got you now”. I nuzzled my face in the back of his neck as he melted against me.

 

In hindsight i'm a little worried about him, he's been having nightmares ever since he saw Sam on TV and even though i'm curious as to what will happen if he gets all his memory back, i'm also a bit concerned if he does. He's showing signs of getting his memory back but he may relive everything his father did to him, and that's something I absolutely don't want him to relive, ever again.

I'll do anything in my power to help him if he does, but I'll also do everything i can to end John Winchester's miserable existence. No one will bring harm to my Harley, now that I've got him, i'm not letting him go. Hell, i'm even changing my fucking behavior because of him, because of his influence.

He's the best thing that has happened to me recently and I'll be damned if I'll ever let him go. I won't let them take him away from me even if I die trying, he's everything to me, I never felt like thing before. This feeling deep twisted feeling carved in my heart that makes me blind to everything except my beautiful, crazy Harley. He's changing me, this broken doctor has carved himself a place in my life and i'm powerless to defeat this feeling inside me.

My mind is fucked up beyond belief, but even though it's like that I can still understand what this feeling is, but I can't do anything to stop it. I finally found my greatest weakness, him, my Harley.

He's my greatest and only weakness, by saving him from his dull sane life I've created something that if used right can bring me down to my knees, can make me go sane, hell, can even kill me. And I couldn't be happy, I found something that I didn't even know was missing from my life.

I, Castiel Novak have fallen in love with Dean Winchester, I can't even deny it, so I might as well embrace it. Now it's me and him against the world. Harley and Joker, Joker and Harley, the king and queen of crime.

The crazy killer and the broken doctor, what a fucking cliché! But what can we do, the cards have been dealt, now it's up to us to reap the benefits.

 

 

 

 


	10. The forbiden fruit is addictive

**Dean's Pov**

“Stop! Please stop, I have a family!” The man pleaded as I held the gun against his temple.

The man was beyond scared, every whimper and plea was just music to my ears.

As I was putting my finger on the trigger, I noticed the pin on his suit jacket. It read Public Defenders Team. I don’t know why, but this made my vision swirl.

As I accidentally dropped the gun, holding my hands to my head in agony as a loud noise invaded my head As I fall to the ground the man I held at gunpoint started to run away, but even hurt, I would not let a target get away.

Grabbing the gun off the ground, I aim at his head a without hesitation, I pull the trigger and watch as he fell to the ground, motionless. And then, the pain turned to something else, something strange.

I suddenly wasn’t in the dark alleyway, but in a dark field, next to a kid with long brown hair. Confused I look around, only to see a set of fireworks set on the ground, ready to be lit.

“Got your lighter?” The kid said, pulling me from my thoughts.

“ Wow, I haven’t seen this in years,” I say as I pull it out of my coat pocket.

“Arm up.” He said as we lit our fireworks.

Once the fire made its way done the fuse, the fireworks in our hands shot into the sky and exploded in a celebration of different colors.

“I remember this,” I said with a toothy smile, “this was Forth of July 2008!” I say as the bright colors light up the dark field we stand in.

As the fireworks die down, we look at each other, the kid smiling his face off.

“Dad would never let us do anything like this, thanks Dean, this was great!” The small boy said as he hugged me, and for some reason, I felt safe in his embrace, it also felt so... familiar.

As the boy made his way back to the bundle of fireworks on the ground, he lit the biggest one there and ran back.

“Fire in the hole!” He said as the fireworks exploded without care and lit up the sky.

I couldn’t contain the smile that forced it’s way out and flinched when the sound of fireworks exploding turned to gunshots, and I found myself back in the alley with the man still on the ground, dead. As I realized it was dark I panicked,

“Oh shit, Puddin’ is gonna be pissed!”

 

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**Cas' Pov**  
  


“where were you?”. I asked annoyed as soon as Harley step foot in my office.

“ just had a little step back puddin', I didn't mean to be so late”. He giggled

“you didn't did you? What did I tell you about punctuality?”. I growled.

“you said you hated if someone was late”. He approached me and sat down on my lap, hand caressing my face.

“I'm sorry puddin', I really didn't mean to be so late, but I can make it up to you.” he started to bite his bottom lip.

“sorry won't cut it, Harley, I need to remind you who you belong to don't I?”. I pushed him off my lap and pinned him down on the desk.

Harley started to squirm but I held him firmly pinned down on the table, one hand on his neck and the other pinning his wrists on his back.

“you're mine Harley, never forget that”. I whispered in his ear, taking the hand from his neck and using it to take off his pants. “ and now I'll make you remember it”.

After taking off his pants, I took my belt off and bound his wrists to his back with it. He squirmed again, trying desperately to get away but the knot wouldn't budge an inch.

“puddin' what's this? What are you gonna do with me?”. He asked.

“I'm going to punish you and then remind you who you belong to”. I growled before spanking him.

Harley jolted, not expecting it and accidentally moaned, his moans were like music to my ears. Every time he crossed a line and got himself punished he seemed to like it.

Then there was another smack, and another, each as painful as the last and coming in quick succession. With every smack of my hand, Harley could feel something giving away inside him, the will to fight being drained out of him, until he lay limp on the desk, silently submitting to my spanking.

“What are you doing?” Harley asked, trying to squirm away, but one of my hands on his sore ass was all it took to make him go still.

He whimpered submissively and pushed his ass up in offering. He couldn’t help it, I didn't do anything to him yet, but he already knew who he belonged to. His burning ass wasn’t going to let him forget anytime soon.

I've always been marveled at how submissive Harley is towards me.

“reminding you who you belong to”.

Harley gasped when he felt the thick head of my cock pressing inside, he didn't even know why he came up with a lazy excuse for his whereabouts, something deep inside telling him to submit to his puddin' to let him take whatever he wanted.

Harley could only moan in pleasure and pain as the thick cock filled him and started to thrust.

“That’s it,” I murmured, hips snapping harder as I started to drive with Ernest. “who do you belong to?”.

“you, I belong to you puddin'”.

He whimpered as my hips slapped against Harley’s ass with each thrust, a stinging reminder of his earlier spanking, making sure Harley continued to submit.

“that's it, good boy, you belong to me and no one else, you got that?”. The question was punctuated with a forceful thrust.

“yes puddin' i'm your boy, I belong to you”. He moaned. I knew I wasn't gonna last long, Harley aways did drive crazy like this. he was beautiful, spread out on the desk just taking everything I gave him without questioning, I groaned and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

“you're my little bitch boy, come for me, Harley”. Harley whimpered but did as he was told, only coming when I said, seeing his blissful face made me lose my composure and came at the same time, filling him up.

Instead of pulling out I sneaked an arm around his waist and brought him with me to sit on the chair, my cock burying deeper inside him, I grabbed a fist-full of hair and said.

“next time Harley, I won't be so lenient, you got lucky today”. He turned his face to me.

“that wasn't luck puddin', you simply can't resist your boy love”. He purred before leaning in and kissing me.


	11. the beggining of the end

 

 

 

 

**Dean’s POV**

 

**_*Flashback*_ **

 

_I have been waiting for what seems like hours for Puddin’ to come back from whatever it is he is doing. I know he doesn’t trust me yet, hence me not really knowing anything about what he does everyday._

_It’s frustrating that he just leaves me here, and how he doesn’t touch me, when I know he wants to. I don’t understand at all._

_And then there’s the cleaning lady, Marcella. She is constantly running around and cleaning shit. And it just didn’t help that I am having the worst headache I’ve had in a while._

_Letting out a harsh breath, I stand up from the couch I had been laying on, and make my way to the kitchen. Just as I reached the door, she came rushing through and ran into me._

_“What the fuck!” I grunt out as I rub at my arm, where she had accidentally poked me with her cleaning shit._

_“Sorry.” She said and just walked away. At this, everything I have been feeling for the past few days, comes rushing at me full force and I don’t even know where the knife came from but the next thing I know, it’s buried deep in the woman’s jugular._

_But somehow, this isn’t enough. I roughly pull the knife out and repeatedly stab and stab, and I don’t even notice Puddin’ walk into the apartment. I only stop when my arm feels like lead and I drop the bloody knife. I taste the blood that splashed into my mouth, and I look up to find Puddin’ looking at me with wide eyes, and I smile, showing the blood that so deliciously coated my teeth._

_I notice how dark his eyes have become, and I can feel myself start to harden. Before I know what is happening, I stand up, walking over the corpse and somehow managing not to slip on the blood slick tile and make my way towards the slightly shorter man._

_For a moment, he just stared into my lust dazed eyes, and I could tell he was holding back from doing something. Taking a chance, I smash our mouths together and I couldn’t help but whimper when he immediately took control of the kiss._

_I found myself moaning at how he lifted me of the ground and placed my legs around his waist, and he turned, slamming my back against the wall. As I moaned, he used the opportunity to thrust his tongue into my mouth._

_At some point, we managed to make our way to the bed and before I knew it, he held my hands above my head and began to kiss down my neck, like it would feed his insatiable hunger._

_But this is going way too slow, I think to myself. And I know It’s probably not a smart idea to do this but I can’t help myself. Somehow, I managed to break free from his hold and flipped him onto his back._

_The growl that escaped his mouth only made me incredibly harder. But before he could do anything else, I ripped his button down apart, watching as the buttons flew, and made a needy little sound in the back of my throat as my eyes stared down at the most beautiful body I have ever seen. His toned chest and stomach muscled and hard, and his hipbones... oh I definitely moaned the second I saw them and I dove down, sucking and biting at them._

_After a few minutes of that, Puddin’ began to writhe. He fisted his rough fingers in my hair, and I loved how he tugged just hard enough._

_Moving to lick down the dark hair that disappeared underneath his jeans, I scramble with unbuttoning them. Once they were thrown somewhere in the room, I mouthed hastily at the massive erection barely contained in the black boxer briefs._

_Having my curiosity over power me, I roughly pull the underwear down, and my jaw drops as the biggest cock I’ve ever seen springs up, leaking pre-come. As I lean forwards and kitten lick the slit, I get a good amount of pre-come on my tongue and my senses go haywire at the taste. I find my self sucking uncontrollably on the fat head, and the loud grunts coming from above only encourages me to go further._

_Still tasting blood in my mouth, I smile around the huge cock that’s oh so heavy in my mouth, and I sink down. The only thing that is going through my kind right now is how fucking amazing this big cock tastes in my mouth and I don’t even care that he decided to take over and fuck my mouth relentlessly._

_Not wanting to come too fast, the older man pulls out of my mouth and opens the top drawer of his night stand and pulls out a bottle of scented lube. “Turn around.” He says, voice gruff and lust crazed._

_Obeying, I turn my back to him, sticking my ass in the air, wanting him to take me. I can feel his eyes raking over my exposed body and I feel a strange comfort in it._

_After a few moments of just looking, he moves forward, and slaps me hard on the ass. Then he gets both hands and greedily gropes the round cheeks presented to him. I didn’t expect him to fucking eat my ass out but I certainly wasn’t complaining,_

_He licked and sucked my rim and thrust his strong tongue in. Somehow, he rubbed against all the right places because my body fucking spasmed and jolted with pleasure._

_After a while, he slicked up his fingers and started to stretch me out._

_It didn’t take long, but he still teased me by intentionally and deliberately rubbing against my prostate and I knew if he didn’t stop now that I was gonna come._

_“Pudd- in’... I’m gonna come if you do- n’t stop!” And at that, he pulled off. He laid back against the pillows and pulled my thighs back with him. I wasn’t facing him and my ass was towards him, so this was kind of weird but I kept my mouth shut,_

_When I felt the slick and fat head pressing against my tight ring of muscle, I pressed back too, and cried out when the head slid inside. After a few moments, he is fully seated and I grasp at his knees for support._

_When I was ready, I began to slowly thrust back onto the older man’s cock. Before I knew it, I had hands on my hips and every time I thrust down, he thrust up at the same time. I was a moaning mess, every harsh thrust, and the grunts that filled the room, was so fucking hot._

_I changed the angle and I cried out in pleasure as the thick cock penetrating my tight hole struck my sensitive prostate and I couldn’t stop myself from moaning louder than ever. For a few minutes, we both thrust as hard as we can, and I cry out a list of profanities, and I’m coming while gripping the muscled thighs in front of me and whilst I lay spent, I feel my hole pumped with my baby’s sweet come._

_As we both lay there, spent, I feel that for once, I don’t feel lost and scared. I’m not thinking about that man beating me over and over. I’m not thinking about these memories that aren’t mine. I am content. And I realize that it’s because of him..._

I open my eyes, blinking fast as I remember that night when Puddin’ came home to me killing our cleaning lady. And how he touched me so passionately and so possessively. 

I shivered at how much he can effect me. And then I start to think about all of those nightmares I keep dreaming. All of those panic attacks I don’t tell him about. He must think I am weak. He must think I have softened.

I find myself shaking on the floor, chest heaving and I know that it’s true.  

I know that I should've said something about it to him but I don't want to seem weak in front of Cas, he's everything i have now and I can't seem to let him go. the nightmares are becoming too much to handle, I don't know what’s happening, it’s like I'm losing my mind. oh the irony, **_Me_** losing my mind, that's a new one. something is wrong in this picture, I don't know how but I feel that I'm forgetting something very important. I need to find out what's happening to me, why i'm losing control, why I can't stop dreaming about that boy. who is that boy? _**WHO IS HE**_ , why is he in my head. I need answers and I need them **_NOW_** , the sooner I find out what’s happening to me, the sooner I can fix it and everything will fall into place, but where should I start? where should I go to find the answers? is there any way at all to find them?

  
I should leave, even if only temporary I should leave, I need to get some answers and I need to find them alone, I can't drag Puddin' into this.  
this is the best way I can't think about right now, he did a lot for me, it's time I return the favor. I need to do this alone, that way I can fix myself without him knowing I was broken in the first place, he doesn't need to know that I'm having second doubts about him or his methods.

He doesn't need to know what goes on inside my head, I need to do this for my safety and his.  
I get up from the floor and grab some clothes, stuffing them in a bag and closing it, I need some space from him until I get my shit together.  
I hastily pick up a pen and some paper, writing a note for Cas to read when he gets home from wherever he went.

 

 

 

 

 

> **_I'm sorry Puddin', I can't do this anymore, I'm leaving._ **
> 
> **_I'm leaving you, I don't know for how long,_ **
> 
> **_don't look for me._ **
> 
> **_I'll be okay, I'll have my babies_ **
> 
> **_XOXO, Harley._ **
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

I swing the leather jacket over my shoulders and pick up the bag and the necklace he gave me, I quickly make my way towards the armory and take out my guns, putting them in their holsters. after doing so I pick up my bat and stuff it in the bag, turning around I leave the house through the front door, taking my bike in the process.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_Goodbye love, I'll miss you._ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

with that I leave without looking back, and definitely not shedding a tear in the process...

  


 

 

 


End file.
